Here Are Best Funny Instagram Bios Ideas, Status and Captions

When you go through the millions and trillions of Instagram users under the tap of your fingers you encounter with the awesome collection of the funny Bios, ideas, status and captions which keeps on changing at a regular interval of time to get the smashing likes and shares. Not only for the view of changing rather it is always full of fun when you have an eye on your interesting status and captions where people can say that this is the one that is quite different from the others. These Instagram bios reflect the type of account you have been holding on it and thus it becomes more important to focus on the simple and the impressive quotes that will not leave the users without having a look at it. The article is full of funny Bios and ideas that will definitely generate a smile on your big fat face bursting out the skin with laughter.

Funny Instagram Bios & Ideas

While we are on the topic about fluffing your bios, you also need to know that picking a better status for your profile while using funny and creative captions for your posts may help you look better for those that follow you. You can’t just expect people for following you and forget about it. They expect better and entertaining content from you, or you might just lose your followers.


Here are some tips to choose the best bios and ideas for your Instagram account that will throttle down the others accelerating on their ways of selecting the best one.

  1. Always look for the simple and the best one. Going with a bit complicated and tough ideas can arise stones on your path and so the viewers will divert their eyes from your account.
  2. Think differently instead of viewing the simple one for you. An entirely different idea will definitely generate the smashing likes on your posts.
  3. Be creative in designing the best one for you. Look deeper into the world of ideas and thoughts and then you will come out with a bunch of thrilling and the exciting ideas.

Awesome best instagram bios ideas

All New Instagram Bios Ideas

Funny Instagram Bios Ideas

cool instagram quotes

Best Funny & Impressive Instagram Bios

  • At last, I graduated…….Now thermometer is not the only thing in the world having degrees without brains
  • A Nomad in search for the perfect burger. Do not judge me before you know me, but just to inform you, you won’t like me
  • I am not on Instagram. Go do something useful.
  • The best of me is yet to come
  • Can bob the builder fix my bad attitude?
  • Professional procrastinator
  • That awkward moment when fails to recognize your own photo on the Instagram.
  • Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
  • I am not a player…I’m the game
  • A Caffeine-dependent life-form
  • Do you remember my Instagram username I locked myself out and I do not know what to do
  • I looked at my Instagram photos and realized I look beautiful.
  • I’m not glad it’s “Friday” I’m glad it’s “Today”. I Love my life 7 days a week.
  • I looked at my Instagram photos and realized I look beautiful.
  • Mama said life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get
  • You can follow me if you feel like it. You can also put peanut butter in your but#hole if you feel like it.
  • I am 10, on the pH scale, maybe. Cuz I am basic
  • On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m an 11
  • Knowledge is knowing what today.Wisdom is knowing whether to say it or not
  • One person’s LOL is another’s WTF
  • Always give your 100 percent ….unless you’re donating blood.
  • God is really creative, I mean ..just look at me.
  • Life is too short to update Instagram bio
  • Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my Instagram bio….
  • Error: Bio unavailable
  • Bio changed, just for the sake of changing it
  • I’m not special, I’m just limited edition
  • Wifi, Food, my bed, and Perfection.
  • That cool moment when I feel proud….when a girl asks “Are you on Instagram?
  • Die with memories, not dreams!
  • I’m so good at sleeping; I can do it with my eyes closed.
  • I am definitely a morning person if morning starts from noon 
  • To be brave is to love unconditionally without expecting anything in return.
  • CGPA available for adoption – Can’t raise it myself
  • Contributing To Entropy Since 1992.
  • You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.
  • Remember that guy that gave up? Neither does no one else.
  • Buddy, can you paradigm?
  • I hold the key to world peace, but somebody changed the lock!
  • Don’t judge me. I was born to awesome.i.e., Not Perfect.
  • Time flies… After you hit the snooze button
  • 3 things I want in a relationship: Eyes that won’t cry, lips than won’t lie, and love that won’t die.
  • You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because the reality is finally better than your dreams.
  • When I miss you I re-read our old conversations and smile like an idiot.
  • I love you with the breath, the smiles and the tears of all my life.
  • Please don’t forget to smile.
  • It hurts when you have someone in your heart but not in your arms.
  • Me fail English? That’s impossible.
  • Whenever I have a problem, I just sing, then I realize my voice is worse than my problem.
  • Instagram bio is loading…
  • I’m COOL but Global Warming made me HOT
  • People call me ” Mike”. But, you can call me tonight. 😉
  • Stop being in the Rat Race and start living your life.
  • Of course, I’m not perfect; there’s a crack in my a$$.
  • Yesterday, I changed my WiFi password to “Hackitifyoucan”; today, someone changed it to “challenge accepted”.
  • Never try to teach a pig to sing- it wastes your time and annoys the pig.
  • “F#%K It.” – my final thought before making most decisions.
  • Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
  • Phones are better than girlfriends, at least we can switch them off.
  • I say no to alcohol Daily, it just doesn’t listen.
  • I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
  • If your life is all about screwing things and getting hammered, then congratulations, you’re a tool.
  • When I was born I was so surprised, I didn’t talk for two and a half years.
  • If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.
  • The word “B@@b” is the Perfect word. The B looks like a top view of them, the 2 Os look like a front view, and the b looks like a side view. perfectly engineered!
  • I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks.
  • I’m a Texan with lots of opinions and pretty hair.
  • S P E C T A C U L A R V E R N A C U L A R
  • When we met there was romance in the air, a sense of the world stopping still
  • I wish I knew when my Dominos pizza would arrive
  • I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
  • The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!
  • When Born was analogue, by design digital
  • Awesome and does ask question, Awesome understands instantly
  • Full transformation online to a cuddly warm and happy life
  • It is truly difficult to be waiting for something that you know may never come to pass, however, it is even harder to give up on something that you really want
  • Fabulous ends in “us.” Coincidence? I think not.
  • Recommended by 4 out of 5 people who recommend things.
  • I work an unpaid internship as a professional nerd.
  • Welcome to my Instagram feed, where people come to enjoy me.
  • Not the guy she told you not to worry about.
  • I don’t make mistakes; I date them.
  • There is no other woman in the world like you. I am the luckiest man alive to be able to call you mine
  • These are the days we live.
    Beer is proof God Loves us and wants us to be happy.
  • Buddy, can you paradigm?
  • One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
  • God bless this hot mess.
  • Recovering ice cream addict
  • I’m your worst nightmare.
  • Living vicariously through myself
  • Web buff. Devoted tv expert. Entrepreneur. Travel fanatic.
  • There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.
  • I haven’t seen a sunrise in so long I joined instagram.
  • I will win, not immediately but definitely.
  • I didn’t find out what happiness means until I got married… and then it was too late.
  • Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?


instagram bios










awesome instagram & clever bios

Source: 1:
Source: 2:

Old Instagram Bios

A human Being
A Caffeine-dependent life-form
Aggressively infancy and stuff
Analogue at birth, digital by design
Anyone knows my Instagram username not making a new account again.
Are you a banker because I’d like you to leave me a loan?
A man of mystery and power, whose power is exceeded only by his mystery
Absolutely awkward, proudest of nerd & geek, decreaser of world sucking
All you hipsters need to stop wearing Nirvana shirts if you don’t even listen to them.
Born at a very young age
Buddy, can you paradigm?
Bald. Often Unreliable. Easily distract
Buoyant, waggish, efficacious, indefatigable, demiurgic, convivial marketing companion, self-made thousandaire
Camping is intents
Chocolate doesn’t ask questions, chocolate understands
Can someone tell me my Instagram username I locked myself out and I do not know what to do
Coffee-Drinker, eReader Addict, Blogger. I’m very busy and awesome
Currently starring in my own reality show titled, A Modern Cinderella;One Girl’s Search for Love and Shoes
Currently working towards an MBA with an emphasis in fantasy football
Dream big (tiny font)
Don’t think for a second that I actually care what you have to say
Don’t think you’re a pro photographer just because you use the lazy services of Instagram.
Eating a whole apple core because you can’t be bothered going to the bin, admit it, you’ve done it.
Every storm runs out of rain
Fabulous ends in “us” coincidence? I think not
God bless this hot mess
Generally, the path of least resistance appeals. Also, I am excellent at parallel parking.
Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper.
Have lots of hair and like ugly things
Here to serve…. the cat overlord
I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook.
Instagram is like twitter, but it is for people who can’t read!
I absolutely hate Instagram and anything else having to do with hashtags.
I always feel sad for seedless watermelons, because what if they wanted babies?
I am an actor and a writer and I co-created my breakfast and my son, Malachai.
I am coming back to face the reality that a normal day is not beer on the beach or calamari in the belly.
I can quote (Insert movie) better than you and all your friends.
I Can’t remember who I stole my bio from or why
I have not lost my mind – it’s backed up on HD somewhere.
I have this new theory that human adolescence doesn’t end until your early thirties.
I hope one day I love something the way women in commercials love yoghurt
I looked at my Instagram photos and realised I look beautiful.
I once sneezed a beanie weenie through my nose. I also made a horse faint in Costa Rica.
I only rap occasionally
I prefer my puns intended
I put the hot in psychotic
I have Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. I guess that makes me an instant twit face.
I swear Instagram the new Photoshop for some ugly bitches trying to look cute LOL.
If you’re reading this, then I’m already too late. Humanity has reached its final days.
Instagram cool effects allow me to wear expensive dresses without spending a penny, I love it.
I’m fabulous. I’m an incredible dresser, I’ve got buckets of money, I’m a
hoot and a half and I got a killer rack.
I recently gave up Warcraft so my productivity, and drinking have increased dramatically.
I shouldn’t be allowed to go on Snapchat, Facebook or Instagram when I’m drunk!
I still don’t understand Twitter, but here I am.
I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks.
I think it’s weird if a girl doesn’t have an Instagram nowadays.
I used to act. I also belly dance and eat Jolly Ranchers – not always at the same time, though.
I was addicted to hokey pokey but I turned myself around
I will go into survival mode if tickled
I’m a force to be reckoned with, I reckon
I’m not glad it’s “Friday” I’m glad it’s “Today”. Love your life 7 days a week.
I’m starting to like Instagram, which is weird because I hate pictures.
I’ve always thought to be popular on Instagram is as about as useless as
being rich in monopoly
I’m a Basset Hound aficionado with a mouth like a Syphilitic sailor.
I’m a Texan with lots of opinions and pretty hair.
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I am joking.
I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook.
•I’m not smart. I just wear glasses.
I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them
I’m real and I hope some of my followers are too.
I’m really a giant cupcake. Afraid of roller coasters and dry ice
If I could sum up my life in one line I would die of embarrassment
If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together
In search of sleep, sanity, & The Shire
Insert pretentious stuff about myself here.
It’s Weird that all pics shared from Instagram are always blurring.
Just keep swimming
Just a cupcake looking for a stud muffin
Just another paper cut survivor
Life is dumb and I want to sleep
Living vicariously through myself
Making the Snuggie look good since 2009.
Mama said life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get
Mermaids don’t do homework
My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
My life is about as organised as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-Mart
My life was changed by a train.
My relationship status? Netfl ix, Oreos and sweatpants
Naturally and artificially flavoured
Nice guys finish lunch.
Nothing more than a man who cared enough to try
OMG no one cares
Oh, I’m sorry was my sass too much for you?
Only Swag girls are fascinated by hashtags on the Facebook.
Perfect has 7 letters and so does mee ee ee. Coincidence? I think not.
Please insert pretentious crap about myself here.
Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.
Probably the best meat eater in the world
Proud supporter of messy hair and sweatpants
Pudding tastes better with a plastic spoon
Putting’ the ‘elation’ in ‘Public Relations’
Recovering ice cream addict
Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things
Stay classy
Someday, there’s going to be an updated version of me.
Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
Spreading smiles like their herpes
So I just started Instagram. But be warned! I will take pictures of funny and maybe disturbing contents of things. Follow me if you dare! Or you can just follow me to make me feel cool.
To infinity and beyond
The fat on my body is designer
That awkward moment you get accepted to all the schools you applied for.
The only person on Instagram who doesn’t claim to be a social media guru
The only thing stopping me from being pure white trash is my lack of motivation.
There shouldn’t be a fear of getting old. It’s the fear of not getting there that scares me.
There’s no such thing as darkness, just an absence of light
Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk
Where the hell am I, and how did I get here?
White lips, pale face, I hate the entire human race
Why to look up at the stars when the biggest star is me
Will show ankle for five minutes of wireless
Winner of World’s Best Wife Award (Category: Nagging)
Words cannot express my love & passion for Fridays!
What the hell is this Instagram I see this food everywhere on the Facebook and have no idea how to eat it?
You’re too rad to be sad.
You are kind, you are smart, you are important
You see that blue follow button? I’d tap that!
You’re a 10, on the pH scale, maybe. Cuz you’re basic
You can’t fix stupid, no matter how much duct tape you use over their mouth!
You know you are in love when you can’t fall asleep because the reality is finally better than your dreams.
You can follow me if you feel like it. You can also put peanut butter in your butthole if you feel like it.

Instagram Status


Hey there! Instagram is using me.
Sorry about those messages that I sent you last night, my Instagram was drunk.
My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
Hey there! Be there.
I may be wrong… but I Doubt it!!!
Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Oh, So your manna argue, Bring it. I got my CAPS LOCK ON.
The person you love is 72.8% water.
My favourite kinds of people are the relatives who give money when they leave. 41
Can’t Instagram, only calls!
Hey there! I am using Hamam soap!
Can’t walk… vehicles only..!
Stop ! Status under construction: D
Smile today, cry tomorrow. Read this every day!
Hey Instagram, I’m using you!
If you ever think I am ignoring you, I swear I am. My phone is in my hand 24×7
Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas !!
Space available for advertisement
I learn from the mistakes of others to whom I have given advice to.
Let Fools Chase The World. I only want you s:
the first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest.
The pillow is my best hair stylist – Waiting for better tomorrow!
(bell symbol) Engineering
Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire:-D
Hey there! You’re using Instagram!
Read books instead of reading my status!
Available when to get WiFi Network !!
Distance is suck… My mum is so far away from kitchen :-/
I hope Karma slaps you in the face before I do.!!
I’m too busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?
Hey there! Instagram is using my Internet Data Balance
Don’t drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
I love to walk in fog Because nobody knows I am smoking.
Roses are red Sky is blue ..Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two !!!
Yes , I m single , & You’ve to be damn beautiful to change it.;)
I’m not online, it’s just an optical illusion.
Of course, I’m not perfect; there’s a crack in my ass!
When I write Etc., it means End of Thinking Capacity
I used to be an atheist, But then I realised I’m God.
I am not virgin, My life f**ks me every day.
I Was Born Cool but Global Warming Made Me Hot.
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter… people the opposite.
Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
Warning…l know KARATE And few other oriental words.
I work for money, For loyalty Hire a Dog.
Some people are alive only Because it’s illegal to kill them.
Real men stay dedicated to only one girl!
Not every goodbye is painful like a “goodbye class” from teacher!!
I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide
I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!
Nothing in the world is free, even Santa comes with a ‘Clause’.
When someone says, “You’ve Changed”, It simply means you’ve stopped living your life their way.
Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.
The fool didn’t know it was impossible, so HE DID IT
Can’t talk, missed calls only.
Being weird is the side-effect of awesomeness.
The question isn’t who is going to let me; It’s who is going to stop me.
Fewer people you chill with, less bullshit you deal with
Work for 5 days to live 2 days.
Relationship Status: Looking For Wifi
I’m looking for a bank loan which can perform things: give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
I have to be funny because being hot is not an option.
When I was born, I was so surprised that I didn’t talk for two years!
Only dead fish follow the stream.
Don’t invest emotions, Love is a depreciating asset
The idea for dieting: Refrigerators with mirrors!
My brain is divided into two parts: Right & Left.ln right nothing is left.ln left nothing is right.
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
I Wonder What Happen’s When Doctor’s Wife Eats An Apple A Day
Scratch Here to see my status
Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people.
If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.
My laziness is like 8; Once I lie down it’s infinite!
Life’s not about money, it’s about love & I love MONEY!
My one more password got married yesterday.
Falling in love is not a choice. Staying in love is.
I don’t discriminate. I hate everyone equally
If “Plan A” didn’t work. Don’t worry; the alphabet has 25 more letters
I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide
You’re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.
I’m pretty sure my prayers go directly to God’s spam folder.
I am not fat, I am just easier to see.
I never make the same mistake twice. Three, four times maybe. But never twice.
When you wait for a waiter in a restaurant, aren’t you a waiter?
I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
Being Alive is being Offline!
Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
Remember it’s just a bad day, not a bad life.
I’ll be yours forever, just tell me when to start.
I love the ones who are in my life and make it amazing. I also love the ones who left my life and made it fantastic.
If my love for you is a crime, I want to be the most wanted criminal.
It’s amazing how crazy I feel when my phone vibrates and I’m begging it to be you.
I wish that I could put my status to what I am really thinking…
The pillow is my best hair stylist – Waiting for better tomorrow!
The hardest part of the business is minding your own.
Hey there! I am sick of using Instagram.
I’m too busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?
I’m not online, it’s just an optical illusion.
I used to be an atheist, But then I realised I’m God.
CGPA available for adoption… can’t raise it myself.
Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life !
The only thing I gained so far in 2014 is weight.
Everyone on this earth is self-centered, the difference is the radius
Of all the things I have lost , I miss my mind the most.
Instagram Status is Loading
I was COOL but Global Warming made me HOT.
Too busy to update a status
Life is too short. Don’t waste it copying my status… !
I’m not lazy…I’m on energy saving mode.
I speak my mind and I never mind what I speak.
Never let your friends feel lonely. Disturb them all the time.
I’m going to update my status….but better you focus on your own.
I stopped fighting my inner demons because now we are on the same side!
Contributing to entropy since 1994
I smile …Because I don’t know WHAT THE HELL is going on.
I am who I am, Your approval is not needed.
Every mother on earth gave birth to child except my mother, She gave birth to Legend!
OF COURSE! Talk to myself, sometime I need expert advice.
I’ll hit you so hard even GOOGLE wan’t able to find you.
I tried to be normal. Worst two minutes of my life.
After Monday and Tuesday, the even calendar says W T F…
I don’t insult people, I just describe them.
I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
Totally available!! Please disturb me!!
flip the coin.. head I am yours, tail you are mine.
If people are trying to bring you down it only means that you are above them.
If you want to be rude then you should become a celebrity.
I say this; I say that what the hell you want to listen from me?
Let me hurt your face, maybe I got a little relief by doing this.
Hated by many, wanted by plenty, disliked by some, confronted by none
Loving you is like breathing How can I stop?
I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
Battery about to die, I am about to live !
Life F#ck$d me , Now It’s My Turn!
Don’t be racist, hate everyone.
Strangely, every girl I talk to falls in love. Just not with me.
People of my age are busy with Relation, break up, heart break, patch
ups and I am still figuring out a way to wake up before 10 am.
When life gets tough, always remember that you were the strongest sperm.
Don’t blindly follow the masses. Sometimes the m is Silent.
I am so poor, i can’t even pay attention.
My father once told me that people listen to you if you tell them that your father told you that.
Life on earth is expensive, but it includes a free trip around the sun.
If Girls are Oscar, then I am Leonardo DiCaprio.
I can see you checking my Instagram status.
God is really creative, i mean.just look at me.
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Instagram Caption

Oh, hi there!
You’re doing it wrong
Fresher than you
A little birthday party they said, it’ll be fun they said
Don’t be like the rest of there, darling
Girls be like no makeup!
Posted pic on Instagram, and she didn’t like it I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another- taco.
We all start as strangers
I need a six month holiday, twice a year
If a dentist makes theft money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?
How did I get back to my crib last night
we made it, it’s Friday!
I read the twilight books
When I feel a little down, I put on my favourite high heels and dance
Friday, my second favourite F word
Women drivers rev my engine
I like cookies
Hey, I just met you, this is crazy
At least this balloon is attracted to me!
I must destroy you with hugs and kisses
Stop looking for happiness in the same place you just lost it
I woke up like this
Oh, you’re a model? What’s your agency, Instagram?
I will eat just one, I swear
I liked memes before they were on Instagram
if a redhead works at a bakery, does that make him a ginger bread man?
If we could only turn back time…
Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about
42.7 percent of all statistics are made apes the spot.
What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram
Thank you for making me feel less alone
The only F word out a woman’s mouth that scares me is “fine.”
Crossfit? I play real sports
A blind man walks into a bar… And a chair… and a table.
At dawn, we ride
you are enough
This seat is taken
I wasn’t lucky, I deserved it
I had fun once, it was horrible
survived another “end of the world” scenario
Girls are like…
stop stop, I’m gunna pee
Hey good lookin, can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
Puts selfie on top of the tree because I’m the star.
Is I in trouble?
I don’t have Ex’s, I have Y’s. Like “Why Did I ever date you?”
It never rains during the weekend
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me
I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
My only real long term goal is to never end apes, Maury.
girl !ma have to call you back
Have a seat, we were expecting you
My diet plan: make all of my best friends cookies; the fatter they get, the thinner I look
If I die tomorrow, will you remember me
What if the princess wants to be with Bowser- but Mario keeps kidnapping her
Invite me to play Candy Crush one more time
How do I put this, you’ll never sleep again
I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast
Teacher knows who my crush is, assigns my seat next to her
I’m the strong silent typo.
Syndrome of a down
Weekend, please don’t leave me.
Never cry for that person who doesn’t know the value of your tears
Don’t play dumb with me. That’s a game you can’t win.
I got back with my Ex…Box 360
Volleyball is just a really intense version of “don’t let the ball touch the floor”
I’ve finally counted.
Leave your lover
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away
I hate flying lessons
A selfie a day keeps the friends away.
OMG that’s so cute
I’d like to thank Red Bull, Google, Vodka, and Wikipedia for my graduation
Buy an iPhone they said, it comes with a map, they said.
I love you this much
One does not simply “Let it go”
Boys are like purses, cute, full of crap, and can always be replaced
Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously, a girl because it won’t let you finish your sentence wihtout suggesting other ideas
Can I film you while you sleep? You’re so cute
Hating me doesn’t make you pretty.
Friends with a gang of gooks
Guess what I just did
Need an ark? I Noah guy.
On my way to school
You’re cute, can I have you?
I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, call me Beercules
If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption
Friends marathon on Netfl ix, YES!
That moment when you realise it wasn’t a fart
Some days start better than others
Live the life you want to, not the one you’re supposed to
Life is short, false, it’s the longes thing you do
Broke his heart, then I asked if he was ok?
Truth is, I’m crazy for you. And everyone can see that but you
Celery is 95% water and 100%, not pizza
Make milkshakes they said, the boys will come to your yard they said
Dear vegetarians, if you’re trying to save animals, then why are you eating their food?


instagram captions