Are you obsessing over your horrible past? Have you been deeply hurt or betrayed by people? If so, you should put in sincere efforts to find your true self as only that will give you everlasting peace and only that is the true goal of mankind. 

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In this article, we shall discuss ways on how to find yourself.

How to find yourself


Steps to discover your true self

By following the below-mentioned suggestions, you can find your true self, be at peace with yourself and be happy in life.

  • Get quiet and listen to your heart/wisdom

I’m sure that most of you can relate to this. This world is full of vile minded people who may have done you some harm. Our mind is egoistic. 

How to find yourself


If things don’t go our way, there are numerous sad and violent thoughts propping up in our minds. We must understand that every adversity in life teaches us valuable lessons. 

We must learn from them and move on. We must not constantly judge others, get upset or angry or look to take revenge. By doing so, we will only incur sorrows and sins. 

According to Sadhguru, Jaggi Vasudev. Silencing one’s mind does not mean to stop thinking. It only means to observe one’s thoughts and prevent them from controlling us. That way, we’ll be more in the present moment.

By learning from our adversities, we become a stronger and wiser person.

  • Realize who you truly are, not who you want to be

You must have heard much advice from your friends and family members about what you’re good at and what you should become in life. 

Some parents are so proud of their child that they do not think outside of the realm of engineering or doctor. They don’t even bother to ask their children what they want to become in life. 

They say that their child should become an engineer or a doctor and force their child to study along those lines.

You must not be too influenced by them. You must first find out what your passions and strengths are and then seek out a career accordingly. After all, if you love what you do, you will enjoy your whole life and fulfill your life’s purpose. 

  • Find what you are good and bad 

To discover your passions and strengths, you can ask the people you trust or take various online tests or even listen to your intuition and emotions.

You’ll be surprised to know that a lady in the UK called Emma Rosette was actually brave enough to quit her job at a high-end tech firm and start a business of her passion. 

  • Always be open to criticism and feedback 

I’m sure that you get irritated at times, listening to a lot of criticism about you and your work but you must learn to control it. 

While not all criticisms and feedbacks are meaningful or true, some of them do help you better yourself. So be open to them to improve yourself.

According to the YouTuber Marie Forleo, Franklin D Roosevelt once said that efforts cannot be produced without flaws and people who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who do not attempt anything and know of neither success nor failure. 

If you feel that some criticism or feedback you receive is not true or relevant, you can always ignore them.  

  • Don’t expect everyone to love you

I’m sure that most of you have difficult cousins or friends who are hard to manage and dangerous at times. In order to manage them aptly, you need to know them well first. 

Analyzing your relationships thoroughly will also enable you to know who is true to you and who is not. You can prevent betrayal if you analyze your relationships thoroughly. Exchanging your opinions with the difficult person can help reduce ill feelings towards each other.

  • Make the difference only you can make

As with most people, the zips of your purses must be tightly shut as money is difficult to earn but easy to spend. You’ll be surprised to know that when you give constantly, you will feel happier (as research has shown) and you will also be filled with a sense of purpose in life. 

Performing charitable acts will heighten your self-esteem and make the lives of other people better. You want to bring a smile on other people’s faces and make your life worthwhile, don’t you? How to find yourself again? By following the above-mentioned tips, you can find yourself again.

Create your own life timeline

Now for the serious part. I know listening to and implementing advice is difficult as your ego is constantly in the way but please do try as they will only make you better. Only a person with an aim in life can become someone of significance. 

Therefore you must plan your life carefully and every step of the way. Listed below are the steps involved in planning your life.

  • Make a vision statement 

I wonder what great personality you are going to become and how many people our blog inspires. 

How to find yourself again

Your vision statement must be made by answering questions like: what do you want to accomplish in life, where do you see yourself ten years down the line, what makes you happy, and what kind of person you want to be? 

All these questions must be answered honestly to create an appropriate vision statement. In case you are wondering what would be a good vision statement, you can refer to the YouTube channel by Bernd Geropp.

  • Break your vision into everyday goals

This is the part where you actually take responsibility for implementing your vision. 

It is not enough just to have an elaborate vision statement. If you don’t break it up into everyday tasks and goals, it will seem improbable to achieve and ultimately it will lose its purpose. 

Even your everyday tasks must be achievable. You must inculcate good habits in your life as they will ultimately shape your personality. 

For example, if you want to run a profitable online business, you must learn how to create a blog and monetize it. This can only be done step by step. 

  • Have deadlines for your goals 

I know this is not easy as meeting deadlines requires a great deal of discipline and hard work but it is the only way you can become someone of significance in a timely manner. 

Deadlines are encountered in every kind of job. If you cannot even meet your deadlines, how will you be able to meet professional deadlines? 

  • Do not waste time

I know that a lot of you are yearning for some free time but you must keep your vision statement and daily goals accessible to you always. (like in an app on your mobile phone). 

You must review them regularly so that when you get free time in a day, you can use it to review your daily tasks and goals and see which of those you can immediately accomplish. You must not waste your free time. 

  • Track your progress

This part is quite satisfying. The only way to know for sure if you are going to achieve your life goals or not is to track your daily progress. When you notice that you have made progress, you will be even more enthusiastic to achieve your life goals.

  • Be prepared for deviations and failures 

I know that this can be frustrating but very often, when you plan something, things don’t happen according to plan and that’s quite natural. Temptations may arise that may sidetrack you from your goals. 

Life is after all full of twists, turns, and unexpected opportunities. You must however not get disheartened. You can always try again tomorrow. Progress is often made in baby steps. 

  • You must be prepared to create your opportunities

A lot of you folks might have wanted to do this at some point in time but might have lacked self-confidence.

Once you have identified your passion, it is not necessary that such a job already exists. 

Sometimes, you may need to be self-employed to do the thing you love. If such a situation arises, do not be afraid to take up entrepreneurship.   

Give some time to yourself

A lot of you might be caught up in your career and that is quite natural in modern times but you must snap out of it and spend time on developing yourself and with your family. How to find yourself again? Here are a few ways in which you can spend time for yourself and find yourself again. 

  • Step out of your routine

At last a breakthrough! You must break your daily routine sometimes and do something that will make you happy like walking in the park, fishing, cycling, etcetera. 

You must savor every moment and give yourself the gift of being alive.

  • Don’t believe in your negative thoughts 

I’m sure that this is something a lot of you are striving to do. Your mind is most of the time filled with anxieties, sorrows, and responsibilities. They do not let you be at peace with yourself or at peace with others. 

You must just let go of all of them for some time and enjoy the present moment. Sometimes these things resolve by themselves. You must also not believe in the negative criticism of others and take it to your heart. 

You must believe that mistakes are a part of life and move on. Failures are after all stepping stones to success. You must always believe that you can accomplish any task or goal.  

  • Be grateful for all that you have

You must do this more often. Thank God every day for all that you have and appreciate the life that you live. 

You will be at peace with yourself by being grateful and the more grateful that you are the sweeter the events that will happen in your life.

  • Enjoy nature 

I’m sure a lot of you folks like doing this. There cannot be a person who does not like enjoying the beauty of nature. 

Observing the serene calm and tranquility in nature will make you feel one with it and fill you with peace and joy. It will fill you with positive energy and heal you physically and mentally. 

How to find yourself

  • Identify what brings joy to your life

You must do some internal digging and find out what you enjoy the most in life. You must allow some time every day to do the things you love. This will uplift your mood and help you cope with stress better. Just remember, living life is of no use if you’re not happy. It’s not always money that can make you happy.

  • Understand what gives you power in the world

You must identify what are your passions and strengths and figure out ways on how you can use them to contribute something to this world. You should always have a give and take the policy and not take all the time.

Acknowledge what makes you different 

Yes, you read it right. You are special! Everybody is unique in this world. It is what makes everybody special. You must take the time to identify your uniqueness. Here are the steps to do it:

  • Ask yourself what you loved to do as a child 

You might have had a unique hobby or interest. If so you should revisit it. 

  • What are you passionate about as an adult 

There are certain things that you are absorbed in. Identify those things and spend more time doing them. That will give you satisfaction and happiness. 

  • Identify the things that matter to you in life 

Doing these things will give you satisfaction and fulfill your purpose in life.

Serve others, always help others in need

Trust me, giving to others gives you a lot more benefits than you think. They give so many benefits that people ought to do charitable acts regularly. The benefits of helping others are as follows:

  • Give wholeheartedly

This is difficult but doable. When you give something to someone wholeheartedly, you are not expecting anything from them in return. This fills you with peace, satisfaction, and joy. 

  • Give because you will be rewarded for it

Many people feel that if they give something, they are losing it but this is not true. In life, the more you give, the more you get. 

Research has shown that people feel happier in giving than getting. It also helps the people you are giving items to. It will fill you with self-esteem and a sense of purpose in life. 

Moreover, we don’t need material things to keep us happy. We just need a content heart and a service mentality to be happy. 

  • Give because you will make the lives of other people better 

Trust me, giving adds purpose to your life and also brings a smile on other people’s faces. 

It is also a virtue for which you will be rewarded. Giving helps people in a lot of ways and makes their lives better. 

How to find yourself

  • Give even to people who don’t deserve it 

I know that you are thinking, “Seriously?!” but you must try it. 

In life, when we encounter people who harm or disrespect us in some way, we start avoiding them or take our revenge. We must realize that everyone is a divine spark of God and give them a chance to rectify themselves. 

The more grudges and hatred we harbor for others, the less peaceful and productive we are. People who had harmed you may realize their mistakes and apologize to you if you forgive them and give them a chance to reflect upon their deeds.  

Question yourself about the problems bothering you

Only when we accurately understand what our problem is can we find a solution to it. You can accurately understand the problem you’re facing by following these simple steps.

  • First, analyze if there is a problem

This must sound silly but it is a fact. Most of our problems are mind-made. 

We constantly judge and are cynical. Our minds are full of thoughts about what people should have done but didn’t do and the faults of others. 

So just let all your thoughts go analyze if there is a problem. Most of the time we make mountains out of molehills.

  • Accept the problem and not resist it

This is what most of us do subconsciously. Most of us drown in self-pity. We often ask “Why me”? Rather than “What next”? 

We spend more time and energy resisting problems than finding a solution for them. 

Only by accepting problems as they are, we can even think of a solution to them. Accepting problems gives us a lot of peace of mind. By constantly thinking about our problems, we are only feeding them. 

We are neither relaxing nor are we finding a solution to them. This will deteriorate our health. 

  • Do not hesitate to ask for help

It is not below your dignity to ask for help nor does solving a problem alone give you any prestige.  

You can always seek the help of people who have been in similar situations. This will solve your problems faster than if you were to tackle it alone. 

  • Break the problem into smaller parts

This is what most people should do but don’t. 

If you are faced with a big problem, break it down into smaller parts if possible and find a practical solution for each of those parts. Small solutions together can solve a big problem. 

  • Always learn from your problems

Yes, you read it right. Don’t curse your problems. Instead, learn from them. Every problem in life teaches us a lesson. We must learn from them and move on. 

We must not obsess over our past. Learning from our problems makes us tougher and more prudent.

Don’t be afraid to speak your mind.

Only by expressing yourself will you know how you compare against others, your shortcomings, and your strengths. If you are in a shell, you will only be wasting your talents and your life. You will never learn new things and grow if you don’t express yourself. 

  • You don’t have to be polite all the time

This reminds me of the famous dialogue in the movie ‘Titanic’ spoken by Kate Winslet, who acted as the young lady, Rose Dewitt. “I’m through being polite God damnit”. 

Very often, we try to please people and make them like us by being polite all the time. This strategy will definitely make people like you but it can also prevent you from expressing your true opinions. This habit of being polite all the time has to be avoided. 

You must express yourself frankly and boldly all the time. Trying to get everyone to like you is mediocrity according to the famous philosopher, Oren Harari. 

  • Analyze what’s the worst that could happen

Trust me, this will give you a lot of peace of mind. Nobody can kill you for expressing yourself. So the worst that can happen is that they will yell at you or suspend you. I’m sure you can handle that.

Most of the time, their anger fades away in just 15 minutes. Moreover, people who express themselves boldly are the ones who become leaders of organizations. 

Timid people remain at subordinate positions throughout their careers. You must be bold in not only expressing your feelings but also your ideas for the sake of your career growth. 


We must lead an honest, bold and meaningful life. We must always help others in need and not expect anything in return. We must also be bold in expressing ourselves and not look to please others all the time. 

We must sincerely work towards our goals and not be deterred by setbacks or deviations. These are a few ways in which we can find our true selves, which is the ultimate goal of mankind.


1. How can one love oneself?

One can love oneself by having fun by oneself, traveling at least once a year, forgiving oneself for one’s mistakes, saying no to others, and taking a break. 

2. How can one improve oneself?

One can improve oneself by reading new books, practicing one’s hobbies, going for various classes, and waking up early and doing yoga.

3. What is one’s false self?

One’s false self is a mental makeup that people put on or things that people do just to impress others even though they don’t like it themselves.  

4. How to stop being shy?

Just don’t take the negative criticism of others to heart. Learn from your mistakes and be open to constructive criticism.

Have you tried to find your true self before? If so, what was your experience? Please let us know in the comments section below.