People are often curious whether or not sexting would benefit their relationship. Does it help you connect on a deeper level or make you feel more distant if you’re not exactly on the same page? The truth is that sexting is advantageous for many relationships. Studies have shown that people who sext in long-term relationships experience higher levels of relationship satisfaction. Plus, some believe that sexting can actually make you a better lover. If you’re curious about how to integrate sexting into your relationship so that you can reap the benefits, find out below.
Doing Something New Together Is Bonding
The honeymoon phase only lasts for so long. If things have been a little bit boring in the bedroom lately, it’s not a reflection of you or your partner! It’s a normal transition to a long-term relationship. And yet, there are ways to bring back the spice you felt in the beginning.
Science backs up the fact that doing something new together can help couples be happier in the long run. And psychologists have realized how many benefits there are to doing something new together. For instance, it takes a degree of bravery to start sexting if you’ve never done it before. And it opens your mind up to new possibilities. Plus, it’s easier to be mindful when you’re doing something new. It’s not part of your routine, so you’re much less likely to tune out and daydream about your next vacation or worry about your to-do list. And when you’re focused and curious about your partner, it feels a lot more like the sex you had at the beginning of the relationship.
You’ll See a Different Side of Them, Sexually
Sometimes it’s just easier to type things than to say them out loud. No one can see you blush if you sent an especially spicy sext, and you don’t have to hear yourself say what you’re thinking. Typing out your sexiest thoughts to your partner can help you be bolder than you are when you’re face-to-face with them in the bedroom.
Since sexting often helps people be brave, your partner might behave differently when you’re sexting. Perhaps they’re somewhat passive in real life. During a sexting conversation, they may have the nerve to be more assertive or even dominant. Keep an open mind, and let yourselves ease into a sexting persona that is different than what you’ve come to know. Realizing that you don’t know everything about your partner can bring back some of the sexual intensity from the beginning of your relationship because it’s like you’re discovering someone new all over again.
This has another knock-on benefit. When you build trust with your partner and get a few good sexting experiences under your belt, you become more confident. That confidence means that your bravery expands, and you can be whoever you want in-person, too, not just over sext.
It Can Increase Body Positivity
Many people are nervous about getting naked in front of someone new, and for good reason. We live in a culture that has a very narrow, exclusive view of what is considered sexy. However, most people are outside of this ideal, and they have very fractured relationships with their bodies. Yet, no matter what you look like, you deserve sexual satisfaction and connection.
Sexting can help people who are insecure about their bodies feel more confident. This is because sexting gives you a bit more control over how you’re perceived. You can take photos with good lighting, a nice, tidy background, and from the angle that you look your very best. You can accentuate your favorite features while leaving those you don’t like completely out of the photo. This amount of control can help you mitigate fears of judgment and help others see you the way you’d like them to. Pair this with some positive feedback after sexting with your partner, and you might start to understand just how sexually attractive some people find you. In the end, sexting can help people who don’t fit the traditional mold of “attractive” realize that attraction is subjective and they are desirable and deserve affection.
This professional sex chat host describes it perfectly. People who have a great sexting experience know that a connection is more important than looking like a “ten,” and that confidence is sexy. The confidence that body positivity builds helps you access a fiercer side of yourself, and it can make you feel more attractive than ever.
Some Tips to Get Started
If you’re nervous about broaching the topic of sexting with your partner, don’t be. Sexting is common, and you’re not an outlier if it’s something you want to explore. In fact, some research suggests that eighty percent of people sext. It’s more normal to sext than not to do it. People often don’t talk about their sexting experiences with others—but that doesn’t mean they aren’t doing it behind closed doors.
Start out slow. You can put both of your minds at ease by starting with flirting rather than skipping right to the explicit stuff. Tell them that you’re thinking about how good they smelled before they left for work or how their new suit flatters them. Even a well-timed “wish you were here” text can get the ball rolling.
Work with what you have. If you’re not very good with words but you’re a wiz with the camera, you’ll probably want to keep your sexting sessions mostly image-oriented. With responses, use emojis if the words don’t sound right. On the other hand, if you’re more comfortable writing, be as descriptive as possible.
Remember, you don’t have to take a naked picture of yourself right off the bat if you’re uncomfortable doing so. You can take a sneakier picture, and it will still be sexy. For instance, take a picture of the kitchen table and tell your partner that you want them naked on top of it later. Or snap a shot of your sexiest lingerie, and let your partner know you’ll be wearing it when they get home after work. These are ways for you to ease yourself into sexting without feeling too vulnerable at first.
Lastly, if you are sexting people you don’t know, choose a site that will protect your privacy and verify the users’ ages.