Falling in love is probably one of the most beautiful feelings in the world and working towards making your dream man notice you, fall for you, and date you is a sweet challenge that’s going to make you seem like you really appreciate this man. (Efforts are attractive!)
Here is an article on how to successfully win a man’s heart whom you absolutely adore.
(I shall be your wingman again and cheer you on!)
Now the most basic question you should ask yourself before making someone else fall for you is do you love them?
Let’s discuss it in detail.
What is the feeling of love? Does he like me?
Jay Shetty, a famous British author and life coach, in his podcast talks about the feeling of love and what are the signs they love you back.
When you look at a person and feel at ease, when you are comfortable being yourself around him, when you feel you can be vulnerable around a person, you know you are in love.
This is a very human definition of love. But love itself is the most subjective term that can be used. Every person has their own definition of love, some find love in peace, some people find love in chaos, and some people find love in animals. The bottom line is love is anything that comforts your heart and soul. Hence it is very important for you to feel this first before expecting someone else to reciprocate it.
How do you know he likes you in order to make it mutual? Here is an article that is going to help you identify the green flags of a man if he likes you.
Tips to Make Him Fall in Love With You
There are various ways you can make a man fall in love with you immensely.And some of them will be listed below. (if none of them work, Black magic, take him hostage or threaten him👍, Just kidding do not do any of those.)
Tip No. 1: Let him be himself.
Men love being themselves around people who make them feel comfortable, they slowly open up their true side. It’s a fact that Men love talking. The reason they don’t is because they do not feel comfortable or safe to let their heart out. They feel people might judge them or not take it seriously. Hence they aren’t really used to being the person to start a conversation and keep it going.
So in order to show him how much you appreciate him. Let him talk, listen to him carefully, observe his body language when he talks about something he is passionate about, encourage him to talk more, pitch in when you feel you can add something to it and over all, let him be himself. The more you try to change a person, the more they feel unnatural and different around you and that’s not good. When a person feels they need to be someone else in order to stay with you, they tend to lose interest in being with you.
(I mean it applies to you too. If you are pretending to be a different person in order to be liked by a man, you don’t really need him. Find someone you can be yourself with.)
Tip No. 2: Be confident about each other:
Nobody likes a two-faced snake that pretends to be someone else in person and in reality, behaves like someone else, hence it is very important for you to be straightforward and confident about him and give him that assurance of you standing strong with him when hell breaks loose.
It is important for him to reciprocate this because if he is not in your team, you cannot win against the problem, if he doesn’t trust you with stuff and if you cannot trust him with yours, there is no point in even considering a potential relationship there. In order to make him love you, you need to have his back, support him through rough days, understand his struggle, and give him the space he needs to calm himself down. There is a very thin line between being busy and being ignorant, when you feel he is not giving you the time you deserve in spite of being free, communicate it. Understand his perspective, and when he puts in that extra effort to be around you, appreciate it. When he notices you are confident about him he will feel at ease and realise he probably would like some stability in his life too.
(Be confident when you reject a person down, what is “Sorry, I have someone on my mind.” What are you sorry about??)
Tip No. 3: Give him a sense of security; admit your mistakes:
Narcissistic behavior ruins every relationship and that is absolute. When you or the man feel they are the supreme being to have ever walked on earth, snap out of it. When you emphasize with another person, their emotions, you put them before you( not always, but sometimes) when you give them a sense of security and belonging. They tend to get attached to the feeling of being important, of being taken care of and loved.
Always remember, people invest themselves where they see stability, if you are going to be vague and unresponsive towards them, they will find reasons to leave.
When you give up on your inability to accept your mistakes, you tend to see many people getting attached to you. It is very important to admit your mistakes and apologize when you know you are at fault, that way they will not feel guilty to tell you where you have gone wrong. A smooth communication is established and they will not fear discussing things out with you.
Do not avoid these conversations, such conversations may be difficult to have, but they are equally important. Do not run away or throw tantrums when they confront you, that just makes a person feel absolutely annoyed or frustrated that you cannot face your own mistakes. A man finds responsibility attractive, so take responsibility for your actions and do the right thing.
(If he is at fault, make sure you tell him upfront about it. Just because he gets the liberty to tell you where you are wrong does not mean you need to put up with his unexplainable behavior.)
Tip No. 4: Be passionate, enthusiastic, and supportive of his interest:
Don’t be a killjoy and get grumpy when he wants to go to that movie with his friends and not you, he probably planned it a long time ago and is probably excited to spend time with his friends. Just make different plans for a different date, don’t let your plans clash with his. Be passionate and attentive when he talks about his day, a conversation is a two-sided thing when one person listens and one talks.
When he is excited about something, but you aren’t having a great day, tell him about it, do not act out a moment’s rage and regret it later. When he is in two minds about something, encourage him to decide what is best for him, be supportive of his decisions, and let him know that you are proud of his achievements, because that isn’t something he gets often from people. When you are his little cheerleader, he will notice you and remember that you were a part of his life encouraging him when he was at his lowest. Show that you care about him and his life, be a part of his life, and make it better for him.
(that does not justify him taking advantage of your understanding capability and keeping you out of his life. If you feel he is trying to make everything about himself and not care about your opinions, be vocal about it. Let him know how you feel, do not wait for a telepathic connection to be established)
Tip No. 5: Pamper him:
Who doesn’t like being pampered with gifts ( or better yet, food?) give him flowers on those days he feels uneasy about himself, give him hugs after a long tiring day, make him coffee whenever he sits up late, take him out on a date. Do things you would love if someone did it to you. That way you will know you are putting in efforts to make him happy, and that way he will know you absolutely cherish him. When a man feels he is wanted by someone dearly, he will put in efforts to live up to that kind of love and treatment, he will feel the need to reciprocate it and appreciate you the same way.
It is important to give before you take, because when you only take, you don’t really consider the efforts the other person has put into it. Cook different stuff, try out different recipes, when you are working, call him to ask what he is up to, show him that you care about him, pamper him well and always make time out to talk at least once in a day.
When a man reciprocates your energy, you know he truly loves you, but what if he doesn’t?
I will further talk about some signs that show he’s not really interested in you. (I am sorry, but you need to prepare yourself if he falls under any of these points).
Stuff to do together to ignite a spark:
Do you want to spend time together or do fun activities together in order to ignite a whole forest fire between you both? Here are some fun activities to do:
- Make a playlist together
- Go out for picnic
- A romantic dinner date
- Go watch sports and support his favourite team
- Take pottery classes together
- Make paintings in a park
- Bake cookies and cake together
- Watch your favourite movies all night.
- Play video games
- Relax in a spa together
- Go to games arcades with him
- Get drunk and dance
- Go on an amusement park date
- Take a nap.
Signs that show he is not into you:
It may be a hard fact to digest, but if he qualifies under any of the given points, he may not be into you, (Don’t feel bad, it is fine)
- He doesn’t pay attention to your efforts:
All your efforts may feel wasted if he doesn’t appreciate it or if he doesn’t reciprocate it. One of the biggest red flags of a man is he doesnt pay attention to the efforts you put on him, he seems to be ignorant, or rather behave like it was your DUTY to do things for him. He disregards everything and criticises your efforts and makes you feel terrible for even doing it. (give yourself a break, make some coffee and dump him, don’t let him get away with being that way)
- He makes it evidently clear that he enjoys other female attention:
Okay, having a female best friend is way different than enjoying female attention. When he walks out with you, refuses to hold your hand in public, talks to another woman very flirtatiously in front of you and then tries to defend himself by playing the victim card and portraying you as someone who is asking a lot? Cut it off. That’s a big no no. You do not deserve that treatment, you deserve a man who will make it evidently clear that he is dating you and he has no plans to look around for anything else. ( even if it is not the dating phase, but he is intrigued by other women especially when he knows you like him, that man is a walking red flag.)
- When he tries to blame you for everything:
This is just frustrating. When he blames you for any mishap, when he insults you or embarasses you for the way you are, judges you with his friends, comments over everything you do, over all when he makes you feel bad for being yourself, that’s when you know he has lost interest/ has no interest in you anymore. Do not let him excuse himself by justifying his behaviour saying he was just upset or angry, men who can’t handle their emotions are just grown up kids, don’t put up with such behaviour. It just gets worse ahead. (it’s a way of manipulation and their way of making you feel guilty and undermine your value in your own eyes.)
- He doesn’t make time for you:
When a guy is evidently free but doesn’t contact you first, keeps pushing plans ahead to meet you, is always busy on phone but cannot spare even 10 mins to talk to you, when he cannot (would not) make time for you, you know he is definitely not interested in you anymore. (This obviously differs person to person, since some people just do not like engaging in social interactions too often or are busy at work, but it does not justify their inability to reach out to you even for just 10 mins. That’s just ignorance.)
- When nobody around him know you exist:
When, the final red flag is not even his best friend knows you exist. (Don’t get this confused with privacy towards his personal life) but when he refuses to tell the world he is with you, he probably isn’t interested in you. Whenever you tag him in your stories and he asks you to remove it, when you ask about his whereabouts and he refuses to tell you anything, when you meet his friends and he introduces you as just another friend, it may not be his fault, probably you haven’t really made that relationship official yet, but there is a lot of difference between privacy and secrecy. Do not confuse it.
- We live far away, what do I do?
Well, online dating sure is difficult considering the fact that you cannot see each other often. What you can do is text him often, ask about his day, video call him. Since these are very limited to how he responds, you should get your answer, whether or not to invest in it.
- Do I really need to work hard to make him fall in love with me deeply?
Honestly, no. You need to give him some time, all these tips are only to make that process faster, it’s not to force him into falling for you. At the end of the day it’s just based upon how compatible you both are.
- His friends tell me he likes me, but I am not sure?
Never rely on a third person’s words. Always communicate with the person in question about anything. At the end of the day, it’s between you and him not you and his friends.
- We dated before, and I really like him. Can I make him like me again?
Don’t. it’s not really worth it, especially after a mutual breakup. If you still want to pursue him. I mean sure! But in the process, don’t lose yourself.